Trying to Stay Calm (Amneris)

[Kayla]

Jeyna knew her love, knew her body. She had noticed the missed cycles, but dismissed it as being related to stress, perhaps even a delayed response from the move. She had ignored it the first month, drunk her concerns away the second month - something she almost never did, and by the third month, had started to pay even closer attention to her weyrmate, watching for small things.

Eventually, she had noticed that her love's curves had changed slightly. There was roundness in her abdomen that anyone not Jeyna would not even notice. Last night she'd confirmed that to herself, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Jeyna had to admit that she was barely keeping herself from freaking out. She was not entirely sure how Amneris would react.

She knew her lover. Knew that the fact of the matter was that Amneris had probably not even noticed the lack of her period. It was something that Amneris simply did not keep track of. And now it would be too late if her love did not want to keep the baby.

She sighed and shook her head. Jeyna could freak out later, right now, she needed to talk to Amneris.

She thought about getting up and running, putting the conversation off until after her morning run, but she knew that would drive her crazy. Instead she shifted in the predawn light, adjusting Amneris in her arms. She would not wake the younger woman up, instead she ran over how to approach this, over and over, trying to figure out how and what to say.

[katgod]

Amneris had not been permitted to do Searches on the Northern Continent and with Ragoth grounded, she had contented herself with regular drills and keeping herself in shape. Her run yesterday wore her out to where she had slept very deeply. Neris had never been one to sleep easily through the night.

When she did wake in the morning, she realized Jeyna was still in bed. Thank Faranth she hadn't slept in again this week. Wouldn't want it to become a habit. Her eyes lifted to her weyrmate's and she wondered why such a troubled look would be on Jeyna's face. Amneris and Jeyna had few problems in their relationship and so she thought it must have something to do with wing practice. Maybe Ragoth's injury was bothering him again.

Not the most tactful person in the world, Neris simply said, "What is troubling you?" The younger woman hoped that would snap Jeyna out of her thoughts enough to tell her. Neris hoped it didn't have anything to do with her or even with Ragoth. Things were going to be back to normal now that Elfreth had finally flown. They may be allowed to Search the North, discreetly.

[Kayla]

She kissed her softly, "Morning, dear." Only after she had greeted her did she consider the question that Amneris had asked her.

Jeyna thought for a moment, "I'm actually concerned about you, love."

She grimaced as soon as she said it, realizing that was probably not the best way to broach the subject. "Have you been feeling... odd at all lately? Off slightly?"

She heard Ragoth snort in her head If you are going to bumble through this, I am going back to sleep.

[katgod]

Amneris wasn't at all expecting what Jeyna said. Though the blue rider always had a certain amount of worry for her she didn't know why she would be more worried now than at any other time. Had Amneris been off lately. Well she had gained a little weight, definately. Just look at her stomach! Oh no, maybe she was fatter than she thought? She wished Jeyna would just come out with what she wanted to say.

"I've been sleeping more and I've gained some weight I think but I don't see why. I'm not working out any less than before and I'm eating the same." Now she was getting concerned too. What was this about? Had she done something? Was Jeyna going to leave her if she got heavier? So many thoughts went through her head at one time. Her nervous state of mind, reached her dozing dragon.

Labeth was not at all pleased at having been woken up. Settle down, silly human. Jeyna is trying to talk but you know how she has trouble telling you things that are important. Right, right, I know. She took a deep breath and asked, "Why?"

[Kayla]

Jeyna grimaced. She knew she was as bad as any man when it came to this kind of thing. She could see that she was worrying Amneris, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

She colored slightly - and it took a lot to get to cause the Blue Rider to blush. She knew the answer to the question, but she asked it anyway, "'Neris... when was your last period?"

Before her love could freak out anymore, Jeyna moved her hand down to Amneris' slightly swollen stomach. "I think I know the reason that you're gaining weight."

[katgod]

Amneris was not sure she knew where all this was going. When was her last period? What kind of question was that? " I just had it like...oh, oh..." She was not happy. What could that mean? Was she ill? Oh that would be horrible. Then she couldn't go back to Searching. Then Jeyna said something that made it worse. She knew what was wrong with her? As Jeyna placed her hand on Neris, it dawned on the greenrider.

As the realization came flooding to her, she wasn't sure whether to be happy, angry, sad or scared. Scared was the first emotion after her vehement denial to herself. I couldn't be. I mean I don't have relations with men. Oh no! Labeth!Silly, your egg is going to be just fine. I'll take care of you. My egg? Yes. I thought you knew about that. Labeth knew riders were a silly breed of human. Lower Caverns women were always hatching eggs.

"It must have been that flight." Amneris said, slightly defeated by the information. "I better get bigger breasts out of this." She said jokingly trying to laugh but before she could finish her laugh she started crying.

[Kayla]

Jeyna moved her arms back to wrap around the Green Rider holding her tightly. She allowed herself to laugh a bit at the comment, "Your breasts are perfect, love."

She held her tightly, letting her cry. "'Neris, it'll be ok." Did she wish they had realized what was going on before now? Absolutely. Then Amneris could have made a choice, but it was too late for that now.

Jeyna kissed her cheeks, trying to kiss away the tears. "I love you, 'Neris. This doesn't change that. We'll go through this together, and we'll do whatever you want about the baby."

Though she did entertain the notion of doing R'ko bodily harm...

[katgod]

Amneris stopped crying fairly quickly. It wasn't going to help getting all upset over it. Of course by now it would be much too late to even think of aborting and given the choice, knowing how many people were dying in the future she probably would have kept it anyway. 'It' didn't feel like a nice thing to call the baby at all. Maybe she should say the baby from now on. Then she wouldn't feel so bad about not having any idea what to call him or her.

With a brave smile, "I love you too Jeyna. Well at least I'll have done my part as far as the Weyr is concerned. I'm sure everything will be fine." She spoke uncertainly though. Amneris was a very thin woman and she wondered if perhaps being so thin, it would be hard to give birth. Maybe she should go see a healer just to be on the safe side. "Maybe we aught to go to the infirmiry to just get information on what I can do and can't do. I haven't been around a baby since I was a kid myself." Nor did she really hang out with women other than Jeyna and Neory. Most of her wingmates were men.

Speaking of men, "Do you think I should tell R'ko?" Amneris wasn't sure if he would care but he had a good reputation here and at Telgar. He was certainly not a mean person. Maybe he wanted a child? She could certainly not tell him if she wanted to keep it to herself but why not tell someone who may find great joy in this?

[Kayla]

Jeyna nodded, wiping the remaining tears from the beautiful face. "Yes, I think we do need to go to the infirmary. You're in good shape, but I want to be sure that this pregnancy is smooth." She smiled warmly to her, "Means that there are now two people who are the most important to me." Though Jeyna knew that if she was forced to chose, she would chose Amneris without any hesitation.

Jeyna raised an eyebrow at the second question. "Beloved, I think we have to tell R'ko. As jealous as I am of him at the moment, he needs to know." She smiled, "Everyone knows how devoted we are to each other, and it would not be hard for anyone to figure out the only time you've ever been with a man and who it was. So yes, I think we need to tell him."

She sighed a bit, "And I'll support you in whatever decision you make about his involvement." It was not that she did not like R'ko. The young man had proven himself to be quite trustworthy, and she'd been relieved when he had been the one to catch Amneris. But she was jealous, and she knew it.

[katgod]

Amneris feeling much better now that Jeyna had spoken to her about wanting to help. She may not have said it in so many words but Neris understood. This would be their baby and R'ko too would have his part in it. She would need their support as time drew on. This could get tricky. Hopefully R'ko wouldn't object to Jeyna's part in all of this. She would hate to fight them over what was to happen between the three of them. The name was going to be rather tricky too.

That could be fun though. Her only child, hopefully. Well they couldn't blame her for not reproducing. She was doing her part and that was all they were going to get from her if she could help it. It could work out well. Maybe this would change things but it could change them for the better not for the worse.

"Well I think his involvement will depend on his reaction. I mean if he really wants a child, I don't see why we couldn't let him be involved. If he doesn't care then he doesn't need to be involved at all."